My Life

Smiling through the darkness

Right now I'm doing my best to stay positive. It's hard. I went to college. I got a college degree. I should be able to find a decent paying job. Right now that dream job hasn't showed up yet. While I was in school I figured I would be at ABC 7 news when I graduated. I would start off as a fact checker and then work my way up to being a reporter or producer. I feel I could do both. I love to write and get to know people.
I thought getting in the door would be easy but life got in the way. I failed my driver's test twice. I got scammed into doing "marketing" or "sales" jobs since graduating college. Meaning various multi-level marketing companies pretending to be legit jobs. It didn't work out for me but I still stay positive. Now I stay away from the word marketing or sales.
Since college I've been doing temp jobs through various temp agencies. I find a job that I like and then the temp agency would take me away from the "long term" assignment. It's not a good feeling when you go from being able to take care of yourself to not knowing where your next meal is going to come from. On top of all of this, I have to deal with family drama too.
Life is hard out here for me right now but I know it will get better. I want to be a great writer and I will be. I just have to get out there and find my own stories. Right now art, music, articles, and journals are keeping me sane. Sometimes I wish I did not live in a capitalistic society. I feel like I work hard and I don't get anything in return for it, besides being tired.
I run into old friends and they wonder why they don't see me out anymore. I don't want to be the broke girl hoping a friend will have my back. I want to be the girl who can take care of herself and help others when needed. It may feel like the world is on my shoulders, but I have to remember that Allah (God) has got my back. I'm a strong person and I will get to my goal no matter what.