Google Interview

Today I had what I thought was an interview with Google for a position Google Shopping Express. I was completely excited because I was qualified for the position. I had tons on retail, marketing, sales, and customer service experience.

My hopes were shattered when they handed me a paper with two mathematical word problems. I graduated with a BA in Mass Communications with a focus in Journalism. I'm a communicator not a mathematician. I clearly got both questions wrong, which disqualified me from having an actual interview. Very brutal to me. I guess that's how it is in a capitalistic separatist society. One wrong answer and I can't put food on the table or pay off my student loans.

The guy that looked over my paper even said he wasn't good at math. Lol. I was so angry but now I'm ok. If I want to make it in the future I guess I better go back and learn math. What good is my degree if I haven't used it in 4 years to be able to survive in society?

I'm tired of being used by companies to do all the work they don't want to do and shut out from the ones I actually qualify for. I have friends who aren't from this country and don't have a degree but they can get more assistance with getting a high paying job and good education. I just don't understand why.

People talk shit about prostitutes and porn stars but they don't have to worry about if they bills got paid or if they'll be eating today. I would never be one of them but I respect that they are able to take care of themselves.

I deserve a better life. When will it happen? I don't know but I will never give up.

Reflection & Inspiration

"...Your dreams are valid", said Lupita Nyong'o as she accepted an Oscar at the Academy Awards this past Saturday. Those words are the song of every woman fighting for her dreams. It made me think of mine and how far off I have become.
I started college back in 2005 and I had no idea what I wanted to do. Somehow after taking political science classes, I ended up graduating with a Bachelor of Arts in Mass Communications. I just knew I would be on my way to write for news stations like ABC7 or magazines like Essence.
After not being able to accept an investigative reporting job in Los Angeles for lack of finances, I found myself in marketing and sales. I liked it but it wasn't me. To make a long story short, I stopped following my dreams and listened to the opinions of others. Now here I am, 26, single, unemployed, and unhappy. As a black female I could blame the socioeconomic barrier, but the fault is mine. Yes there is racism and slavery today but the real culprit is belief. At some point I stopped believing in myself and what I could do. I doubted me because others had and in doing so fulfilled my worst fears. I'm broke, unhappy, and single.

The turning point was me watching the Academy Awards. To be honest, I had no interest in looking at the award program because I figured it wouldn't improve my life. A friend of mine did not have cable and wanted to watch the show along with my brother. If it was not for Lupita's acceptance speech, I wouldn't be writing at this very moment. I have been out of school for 3 years and accomplished very little. In my eyes nothing. In the eyes of others a lot.
In this game of life, we are our greatest enemy. Our belief in ourselves and others is what determines the outcomes of our lives. According to writer James Clear, "Successful people don't wait to be tapped, chosen, appointed, or nominated. They start before they feel ready. They tell themselves,'It doesn't matter whether or not it's my fault that I'm here. This is who I am and it's my responsibility to do something about it.' The chosen one choose themselves."
I feel that I am a writer, artist, and designer. The only one keeping me from my dreams is me. It's like what Whoopi's character in The Color Purple said, "I'm poor, black, I might even be ugly, but dear God I'm here. I'm here." I will never stop fighting to move forward in my life. I will never doubt myself again because I believe in the value of my dreams. They won't be dreams for long.

Focus

Having a good day

I've been up and down with emotions and decisions. "Life is really as hard as you make it", that's what my ex used to tell me. It's true. People can be horrible to you, but how you respond to the situation is up to you. 

I ultimately want to be a jewelry designer. I love beauty. Making jewelry and accessories makes me happy. Pure joy. In the midst of graduating from college and looking for work, I've gotten down on myself. I lost focus.

Now that I've had time to just sit down, meditate, and think about my happiness, I realize I've been beating myself up over nothing. Yes I have no job. It's true that companies have taken me for granted. It's true that I let them. It's true that I let the opinion of others prevent me from my dreams. Now what?

Now, I'm just getting back to me. Learning html, css, and python. I realize that I don't have let go of my dreams. I just have to change how I will get there. This is the age transformation through technology. That's fine with me. I love creating something out of nothing. My focus has not changed but the journey has. 

I honestly thought it would be a piece of cake after graduating college. Boy, was I wrong. Since I did not plan ahead, I have to plan forward. Meaning, I have to learn as I go. Sure, I may get into debt, but not for long. 

I was one of those people who always wanted to stay away from debt, but I realize that it's necessary to move forward in the business world. Just don't get comfortable. I'm glad that I have the friends and family that I do, because without them I would be out of focus still. 

I want people to read this article and realize that failure is not the end, but the opportunity for a new beginning. If you don't believe me. Look up the lives of your favorite celebrity and you will see how many times they fell, but got back up to win.

I'm not stopping and neither should you. Your dreams are more than an imagination, it's your present soul. Be present and keep moving forward. Persevere through it all.