What I think about love...

I feel that love is instant and you feel it through your soul. It's unexplainable but it makes you feel good. You feel like you can't function without that person. That's how I feel about this guy now. Every since I laid eyes on him 3 years ago. The sad part is that he has commitment issues. He can't be with one woman. The right thing is to pull away from him but I feel he is my soulmate. I can't just let that go without a fight. I actually tried to and it seemed more like torture to myself than to him. I've gotten into relationships simply to stop thinking about him. They did not last because they were not real from the beginning. A friend of mine was in the same situation and she told me that I just have to figure it out for myself. I just find it funny how I can see other people's problems but I can't really see mine. I have been in denile. He hurt me really bad but I still love him because I believe he really loves me too. We have the perfect time together but once we talk about feelings he gets stiff. He shuts off from me like I'm some kind of stranger. Can't he see how much that hurts me? I don't know what to do but I'm going to get to the bottom of this. I want to hear those three little words and if I don't I know what to do. I need to let go and focus on me. I can't go cold turkey but every little bit counts. I will always love this man but I can't be wondering if he is with someone else. I deserve better. At times I have thought that I am unworthy of love because of my family. My mother never told me she loved me. My brother that I looked up to always called me ugly. I just never fit into my family and this is why I do not keep in contact with them. The wounds are always open and I'm not sure they can be fixed. The advice I offer to anyone who is in this situation is to fix yourself first.